Do I Have to Eat?

Right now, I'm eating three slices of cheddar cheese. Am I enjoying them? Eh. They're okay. Which is bizarre, because cheese is one of my top five favorite foods EVER.

Number one is popcorn. I used to house a bag a day no problem, every day, year round (and we wonder why I was on Weight Watchers yet could never lose those last ten pounds...). I have allowed myself to have popcorn on a daily basis again, but I don't really want it. It's yummy, but I just don't care. I just feel eh about it.

My number one favorite food. Number two is probably cheese, followed by potatoes, pot roast, and mac 'n' cheese.

What is wrong with me? For the past decade I've been counting points and carefully planning meals and having daily battles over what to have for breakfast that will be tasty and low-points. Food was always on my mind, and I could never get enough of it.

Now I basically have the green light to eat, eat, eat, and I'm sick of food.

There. I said it. I'm sick of food. I'm sick of eating. I am eating constantly, searching for high-protein foods to help my babies grow. I'm supposed to get up to 120 g of protein a day. Tally your protein intake for a day and see how you do. I've had to more than double what I used to eat, as far as protein goes. And it's exhausting.

Breakfast is okay. Three-egg omlette with cheese and veggies gets me nearly 30 g. Then I have an Instant Breakfast with whole milk, which gets me another 12g. Then some cheese (7g). Then lunch, which is always the hardest meal for me. Even if I'm hungry, nothing EVER sounds good. Except maybe cream of tomato soup with brie melted into it, my go-to favorite lunch, but one I can't have at work because I'm not allowed to use the microwave (long story). So my options are basically soup from Hale N Hearty, a Subway sandwich, McDonalds, or a protein-packed salad from the deli. I'm a pretty picky eater, and these are the options I can at least tolerate most days. I was bringing in PB&J sandwiches, but they were making me nauseous. No idea why. So maybe I get 20g at lunch.

Then after lunch I have more cheese and a handful of almonds for another 10g or so. And then dinner, where I try to squeeze in 30g. And then popcorn, which has 8g in a bag. And then a glass of milk before bed for another 8g. And in between all that I do eat some fruits and veggies.

Most days I average between 2500 and 3000 calories, and around 100g of protein. I'm honestly not sure how to get more and not explode. It doesn't help that I get fuller faster because the babies are taking up more space and squishing my stomach. (To see an awesome interactive graphic from the Chicago Museum of Science and Industry of where your insides actually go during pregnancy, go here.)

I know this is all very "woe is me, I have to eat." I'm just so apathetic about food lately. But I keep chowing down, because the more I gain, the longer the babies will stay in (or so I'm told). And I've gained a whopping five pounds. I think I'm supposed to gain around 25 pounds by week 25, which gives me less than 10 weeks to gain 20 pounds. Ummm... not really sure that's going to happen.

But we don't want preemies if we can avoid it. And if eating is the main thing I can do, that I have control over, to make them grow and be healthy and incubate until at least 36 weeks, then I'll keep doing it.

Doesn't mean I won't bitch about it though.