A Letter to Indigo at 18 Months

My Little Man,

Sometimes I worry that you think your name is "Buddy" because we've called you that so much. We've been searching for a nickname for you since you were born. My first idea got shot down after a few weeks, but luckily your sister has come up with something adorable that we are all calling you now. I'd love it if you tried saying her name more often, just so we can hear how cute it sounds.

Right now you mainly just yell, "Elmo!" a lot. You are obsessed. You hear the song for "Elmo's World" and you get so excited. One time I thought you were going to jump out of the bathtub when it came on. And heaven help us if we try to bring you up to bed while "Elmo's World" is on!

We got you both little Elmo stuffed animals when we took away your pacifiers. I hoped it would be a worthy substitute, having your BFF hanging out with you in your crib. Boy, was I wrong. I feel absolutely horrible listening to you cry at night. You cycle up and down, upset and calm, each time making me think that you will now fall asleep. You are trying so hard to fall asleep, but you haven't learned to self-soothe yet, so it takes you over an hour. Periwinkle will cry with you for a little while because you are keeping her awake, and then she somehow drifts off into sound sleep while you are still going. But before she does, she tries to comfort you, rubbing your back and saying your name calmly. She loves you and just wants to help you. Can you help her and try to be calm as you are falling asleep?

Sometimes I take you out of the room to give you a break. We'll pull up the blinds in our bedroom and show you the cars going by. You love watching cars. When we're in the car and another one drives past, you say, "Car!" in this little voice full of wonder. I think they make you happy. This probably makes your great-grandpa happy, because he LOVES cars.

After this little interlude, and sometimes going downstairs for some milk if you are SUPER worked up, you'll go back into your crib and fall asleep. I'm not sure if you just need reassurance that mommy and daddy are still nearby, or if you're playing us because you know we'll come back, or if you just need more time to learn how to fall asleep without a pacifier... but I hope you get over it soon! Sometimes we don't get to eat dinner until after 8:30pm! But seriously, it makes me sad to hear you cry, and I hope you get better at bedtime soon, for your own sake. Sleep is wonderful. Trust me.

Besides our nighttime struggles, you have been a wonderful, sweet little boy. You still love snuggling, when you're not trying to con us into giving you more pretzels, or opening and closing doors, or trying to make a break for it out the front door so you can run around "ow-side." Sometimes you stand in the front doorway and watch the boys next door playing basketball, and I know you really want to go play with them. You love playing in the little house in the backyard, mainly interested in opening and closing the door and shutters and pushing the little doorbell. I love that you're so engaged with it.

I love watching you explore new toys, completely concentrating on how they work and what you can do with them. You and your sister quietly played with a new stacking train for almost an hour, without making a peep. It was fantastic! You shared, and took turns, and divvied up the toy, like such a big boy and girl! I was so proud of you. I love when you share, which sometimes you don't want to do. You get upset and sometimes hit and bite, especially at daycare. We are working on you finding other ways of saying, "I'm mad!" and I know you'll get there soon. When you are little you just don't know how to express how you feel. You don't even know how to know what you feel. Periwinkle sometimes just shrieks and throws food when she's frustrated she can't get out of her chair. I'm sure mommy and daddy did the same thing when we were little. It's okay. We'll work through it!

You are also a very helpful little boy. We ask you to bring your sister's lovey or sippy cup, and you trot right over with it. You shove it in her face, drop it, and walk away, but the intent to help is there. You are very chatty when you want to be, and very quiet when you want to be. You remind me of your uncle (my brother) in that regard. Your crazy reddish-brown curls remind me of him too, although the curls could also come from daddy's side. Your nonno and Zio Pippo have curly hair too. All I know is that I love it. You had such short hair for so long, and now it's growing and curling and it's pretty amazing.

Everything about this age is amazing. You make such fun, silly faces and laugh with such pure joy, I wish I could just exist in that moment with you always. I so love when you are happy. It lights up the room. I love watching you walk hand in hand with Daddy down the street, two men on the move. I love how exuberantly you hug your sister, and the sound of your "mwha!" when you blow a kiss across the room. Your high fives make my day, and I love the way you cling to me with such a firm grip when you don't want me to put you down (but I have to sometimes).

You may be a year and a half old, but you're always going to be my little man, my "buddy," the first baby I brought home, my little love.

Just stop calling Daddy "mama" okay? I'm pretty sure you know exactly what you are doing and how much it drives him crazy. But I think the joke has played out now, okay? Tell your sister to stop, too. He's "Daddy" or "Papa" or "Dada." Got it? Good!

Love,
Mama

A Letter to Indigo at Eleven Months

Dear Indigo,

My little cuddle bug. You've come a long way from being that scrawny "velociraptor" you were in the hospital, although you've still got quite a set of lungs. Lately I've been wondering if you are confused and think you are going to be turning two, not one, because you seem to be breaking out the temper tantrums a bit. You seem to get into fights with the shape-sorter cube on a daily basis, which end in you face down on the blanket screaming. We really wish we knew why you were getting so frustrated, but we'll keep trying to help you out.

Turning into a little boy.

And the other side of the coin, you are a gentle, sweet, and loving little boy who loves snuggle time with Mommy and Daddy, but especially Daddy. You've gotten into the habit of crying at bedtime again. We don't want you to prevent your sister from sleeping, so we remove you from the room and you end up falling asleep on one of us. The past week or so, I've tried to break this habit. I'll hold you until you are calm and sleepy, but awake, then put you down in your crib. You start to cry again but I quickly soothe you by rubbing your back and behind your ear. Eventually, you are asleep. Last night I didn't even have to hold you (but I did miss those snuggles). I just kept rubbing your back. If I stepped away, you started to cry, but a reassuring, "Mama's here" calmed you down again. I think you miss us. I think we don't get enough time together during the week so you just soak it up on the weekends and at bedtime. I'm sorry, little man. We miss you too.

More hugs!

But you are making so much progress at daycare and we are so proud of you. You are getting better at waving, and are a pretty awesome high-fiver. You stand with such pride, and I know you'll be walking, holding our hands, just as fast as your sister, any day now. But best of all, you are so expressive. You tell detailed stories with such earnest facial expressions, such perfect inflections of your voice, I can almost understand what you are saying in your baby babble. I do love a good story.

High Five!

You are definitely having fun testing your boundaries. You will repeatedly grab at bottles in the wine cabinet, turning around to look at us with a sly grin when we call your name and tell you no before reaching for them again. You think the tray of DVDs under the TV is yours to play with, and you recently discovered one of the cabinet doors moves. Part of all this is the many bumps and falls you've had as you realize the ottoman rocks back and forth and the new stroller will roll away from you if you try to pull up on it. But you keep trying. You are one determined little boy.

You braved your flu shot at the doctor's office, and are 22lbs even and 29.25 inches long. Your head circumference is 46cm. You are in 55th percentile for weight, 58th for height, and 69th for head size. Basically, you're right on track!

Trying to escape?

You are really into books lately, especially the one that makes animal noises. Every time I push the puppy and it barks, your face gets this look of such astonishment and delight and you give a little shout as if saying, "Mama, did you hear that? Amazing!" It's perfect. You like turning the pages, even if you are holding the book upside-down. And you love pointing to the kitties. I think you are making the connection with our two kitties, and I love it.

Nothing like a good book

One of the best parts of my day is still picking you two up at daycare. The second I walk through the door and you two realize I'm there, it's off to the races. The baby races, that is. You both just bolt for me across the floor. If I pick one of you up, the other will cry. If I pick neither of you up, you both cry. There is no winning. But I just love how excited you are to see me, because I am just as excited to see you. We put on some kids music in the car on the way home and have a grand old time singing along to "The Wheels on the Bus" and "Old McDonald." You seem to really enjoy the sound effects.

Let the race begin!

I love you, little man, with a "moo, moo" here and a "moo, moo" there.

Love,
Mama

Checking out the ground

Twins Teething

I expected teething to be hell with two of them. Yet Periwinkle has popped one tooth and is well on her way to at least one more with little more than some runny poo and mild crankiness. She's still sleeping like a champ, smiley in the morning, and in general her normal self. She lulled us into thinking teething might be easy peasy.

Indigo is another story. The only reason I can see for his recent misery is that he's teething. He doesn't let you look in his mouth or feel around for too long so it's hard to tell, but there seem to be at least two coming. As a result, he enjoys screaming in his crib. His voice is hoarse from crying so much the last few nights. He even cried this morning when we put him back in his crib so we could get dressed for the day. If you hold him he's pretty happy (a little too happy at 3am). If he's playing he's pretty happy. But step near the crib and watch out! Two nights ago he was up from 3 to 4:30am. Last night he took until 10:30pm to really fall asleep (normal bedtime: 6:30pm). Needless to say, Blue and I are rather tired. Fingers crossed for better sleep for all of us tonight. Although Periwinkle has been sleeping through all the crying just fine, lucky girl.

And we're just hoping she doesn't get any ideas about upping the crankiness meter. In this case, misery does not need any company.

Last night before the crying began

Progress

So last night I decided to try an earlier bedtime. Not too much earlier, just a half hour. But they were both asleep within ten minutes. A miracle!!

I guess they really like waking up after 9 hours though, because they were up at 4:30, chatting away, then crying. We got Indigo to fall back asleep by 5am (I gave him a burp cloth to hold on to and that seemed to work. He likes little blankets, but it wasn't so big or thick that I felt it posed any hazard).

Periwinkle, however, just seemed to get more annoyed. We fed her a 2oz bottle, but that wasn't enough. So Blue made her a 5oz bottle to go along with the little premade one. That did the trick, and she was asleep by 5:40. Phew. I squeezed in another 20 minutes of sleep then got up for the day. I can't be entirely sure, but one of them might have been awake when I left at 6:30.

If waking at 4:30am turns out to be a new thing, assuming the earlier bedtime keeps working, then we might try dreamfeeding them before we go to bed to get them sleeping straight through again. They lose sleep when they wake up and cry and eat, so it's for their own good. And ours.

And now, a photo of them with all of their Easter bunnies!

"What the hell, Mom?"

At a Loss

Since probably last Wednesday, Indigo has been a real PITA at bedtime. We do the usual routine: bottle at 7:30, PJs, diaper change, into the sleep sacks, a bit of swaying and singing, then "goodnight."

Minutes later he's crying at the top of his lungs. We give him a few minutes but he doesn't calm down. One of us goes up to pat him, give him back his paci, try to get him to fall asleep. Sometimes we leave the room with him asleep. Ten minutes later, he's awake and crying again. Rinse and repeat.

"Your turn!" has become an all-too-familiar refrain in our house.

One evening, I picked him up during probably his fifth crying fit and he just collapsed against me and was asleep in an instant (which I admit I totally loved). I held him for a few minutes then put him down. Not a minute later, crying.

How could I NOT pick him up when he looks this upset? That lower lip quiver gets me every time.

It all usually stops at 10:30pm, give or take a few minutes.

Blue wants to just  cave (I don't blame him) and not even put them to bed until then, except that then they'd just be napping downstairs because they ARE tired, and Periwinkle usually goes to bed fine unless her naps were horrendous (or like yesterday when she took a four-hour nap at daycare--way too long). I don't want to mess up the progress we've made with her or give up on the healthier early bedtime.

I've heard suggestions ranging from "He's teething, so wait it out" to "Try an earlier bedtime, he might be too overtired by 8pm to go to sleep easily." He does have his hands in his mouth all the time these days, but teething rings don't really seem to help him. Plus he naps fine. Although, he has been more cranky since about the same time last week, so this could be the reasoning behind it. He's had crying fits during the day when he usually pretty much NEVER cries. And maybe at night he knows he won't be getting comforted all night so he cries. Maybe he just misses us during the week because he spends most of his time at daycare so he wants to be held by us (rip my heart out, kiddo).

It was working. We had a good thing going. What the hell happened in the past week?

The good news is that once finally asleep (which often involves him sleeping for 20 minutes, giving one last cry, then falling back to sleep for good) he sleeps all night. We haven't had a real nightwaking or feeding since Saturday, March 23. So that's been awesome.

Suggestions welcome.

Sleep Update

Well, something must have clicked for the babies in the past few days. First off, they seem to be napping better. That has led to better nightsleep.

Sunday night they resisted going to bed because they'd napped perhaps TOO much that day, but then slept until about 5:30am, when they got chatty.

Monday night Periwinkle was crying around 4am so I got bottles ready, by which point she'd fallen asleep again. Back to the fridge went the bottles.

And last night not a peep. I asked Blue if he'd taken care of a nightwaking that I slept through, but no. Just a little chattiness from Periwinkle around 5:30am, that was it. 

 

I gave her her pacifier before I headed to work, and I'm hoping she fell asleep so Blue could sleep another hour or so. (P.S. It was so great to see her smiley face before going to work!)

Here's hoping this is the new normal, because it feels amazing getting six hours of sleep at a shot!!

Sleep Crying and Rolling Over

Sleep training is progressing with some more bumps in the road. Apparently I slept through a few nightwakes last night, and Blue kindly took care of the little ones. Whoops. I feel bad. Solidarity in exhaustion, no?

A fun new development since we stopped swaddling the babies last week is that Indigo cries in his sleep. And it's not just a wah-wah cry. No, it sounds like someone is in there trying to kill him. He sounds SO upset, SO pained, and worst of all, SO scared. It breaks my heart to listen to it. An online friend I've dubbed the Sleep Guru told me not to wake Indigo during these times as then it will take forever for him to fall back asleep. Or he could freak out, like people who are sleepwalking tend to do when harshly woken up.

So I tried to just let him cry through it last night. I knew he wasn't hungry or wet, or at least that those things weren't what was bringing the crying on. I had no idea what WAS bringing the crying on, but it wasn't something I could fix. That's perhaps the most frustrating part of this, actually.

But after a minute or two of hearing my baby screaming like that, I had to pick him up. Horizontal didn't work, so up on my shoulder he went, still completely asleep. Phew. He calmed down, so I put him back in the crib. And the screaming started up again. Back up on my shoulder he went, and he came into our room for a few minutes. I reclined a bit to get him a bit more horizontal and he stayed calm. Finally his breathing slowed from that ragged, crying breathing we all get after a good crying jag. I put him back to bed and he stayed asleep and calm. Phew again!

Until 3 am, when it started up again. This time it took less time to get him calm and I never had to leave the nursery. Still broke my heart listening to that cry.

I've been told that babies do not dream until 18 months, so I know he's not having horrific nightmares. I've been told it might be a growth spurt, which might make sense given his recent jump from 6oz to 8oz bottles. And another person told me their child started doing it when they stopped swaddling him, which also could be a reason for Indigo, although by all other accounts he is doing well without it.

I'm also told these crying fits last about ten minutes, that as they get older they will wake more easily and I should definitely let him cry it out at that point, and that frequency diminishes over time. So we'll see what tonight brings...

The day before her first roll-over. So close!

In better news, Periwinkle rolled over for the first time yesterday, from front to back! She looked so surprised. I was ridiculously excited, mainly because we were both there to witness it and she saved it for us, not daycare (unless she did it there and they didn't tell us, which is fine. I'm okay living in ignorance). So, first roll-over on St. Patty's Day!

Almost a year to the day that we found out I was pregnant, which is kind of crazy. Where did the past year go? The Monday after St. Patty's Day last year I was so giddy at work I don't think I did a damned thing. I'm not terribly productive today either, but that's because this project isn't exactly inspiring...

Also, wish me luck at the allergist tonight. I'm hoping they can alleviate the sniffles, and thus the pain my nose is in, so that I don't want to chop it off anymore.

Another Doozie

Last night was a bit better, but not great. We got some longer chunks of sleep in, but it took over an hour to get Periwinkle back to sleep after she woke up at 10:30pm (JUST as we were going to bed... she knew!). There are just so many variables I'm not sure what to think.

1. She still isn't feeling great -- she is eating less per feeding and spitting up a bit more than usual. Her brother, on the other hand, has shown himself quite capable of having a few 8oz bottles a day. Yikes!

2. Her naps are not long enough. Three 45-minute naps do not a well-sleeping baby make. I'm hoping that we can get her to nap well over the weekend. The daycare might just not have the manpower to devote to getting her to nap longer when she needs a little help getting back to sleep during sleep-cycle transitions (which happen about 45 minutes in).

3. Is it time to get rid of the Woombie already? She seems to want to gnosh on her hands, but when we release her arms and let her, she isn't satisfied and still wants the pacifier she dropped as she drifted to sleep. And she doesn't have the hand coordination yet to pick it up and get it in her mouth herself. Which brings us to...

4. Time to get rid of pacifier dependency? She had been doing fine with falling asleep without it, but this week she seems to need it again. Maybe because she's still not feeling well?

I just don't know. I figure we'll give her a few more days to get to 100% health before we mess with her routine again. Part of me wonders if we messed with something that wasn't broken when we moved their bedtime earlier... but other parts of me wonder if they need an even earlier bedtime. According to many things I've read and heard anecdotally from other parents, too late of a bedtime can lead to multiple nightwakings, which is what's happening this week. Sigh. At a loss. Trial and error might be the only way to figure this one out.

I'm just glad Indigo is still doing pretty well, although he did have a brief wakeup around 1:30am. He also seems to want to nibble on his hands, so it might be time for him to ditch the swaddle/Woombie as well. Maybe I can sell them (the Woombies, not the babies) on eBay? Do people still use eBay?

At least they are cute. Even if Periwinkle looks a little moody.

Day 71 Project365. Yes, they are part Irish, among many other things. My little mutt babies!

A Setback

The good news is that Indigo did really well last night, until he decided to start playing follow the leader at 5am and cry like his sister was. He slept from 8:20 to 3am, then 3:30am to 5am, then 6am to 7:45am, when Blue woke him to go to daycare. I blame his sister for both wakeups.

Periwinkle didn't nap great last night, was probably feeling residual sickness even though she didn't have a fever, and was in a swaddle sleep sack because her Woombie was still wet from getting washed (air dry only). All of this added up to a sleepless night for all of us. She was up at 12:45am and then at 2:15am. We caved and fed them at 3am, and then were up with her crying and eventually Indigo too at 5am. I got both of them back to sleep after swaddling her in a fuzzy blanket instead of the sleepsack (maybe she was cold?) and rocking them  both. Then I went to work, on maybe three hours of non-continuous sleep. Blue got to sleep another hour and a half, lucky bastard. At least one of us got a few zzzs. I did nap on the train, and am eagerly awaiting the closing bell so I can nap on the way home too.

All I have to say is I hope she naps well today and thus isn't overtired tonight, so that she can sleep, and we can sleep. And I hope Indigo has another good night. Because I don't think I can do two nights in a row like last night...

Sleep Training Update

So we're plugging along on the sleep training front. Daylight Savings Time didn't seem to cause too big of a setback, to our relief.

Periwinkle seems to have taken to the earlier bedtime just fine, and last night slept from about 8:30pm to 4am, then from 4:45am to 7:30am, with some fussy noises towards the end.

Her brother, however, has taken to screaming bloody murder at bedtime, totally ruining my rendition of "Chasing Cars" by Snow Patrol. Last night I had to take him downstairs, undo the Woombie, rock him, sing to him again, and hold him upright just to get him to calm down.

I then brought him upstairs to our room, gradually moving him into a more horizontal position (too quickly and he was on to me and began screaming again). I laid him on our bed and he didn't start yelling. Progress! I zipped him back into the Woombie. Still good. Then I picked him up and held him for a few more minutes before putting him back down in his crib in the nursery, awake but calm. Success! It took less time than the previous evening, when he finally settled after an hour and an extra 2oz bottle.

I'm guessing it's all a result of the many changes over the past week: Woombie, separate cribs, 7oz per feeding instead of 6oz, and the much-earlier bedtime. I'm hoping tonight his freakout lasts even less time!

You want me to do what?

Little Things Thursdays, Week 7

A day late again. You can forgive me, right, knowing about the sleep training going on?

#1. No sleep struggles last night. They had baths at 7, ate at 7:30 (Indigo ate 6.5oz!), and were in bed at 8. Periwinkle was so sleepy she was asleep before her head hit the crib mattress. I sang them a song (more like croaked, given my cold) which I think they liked. This is going to be part of their new bedtime routine, which I am hoping helps with easy bedtimes. Indigo required one check but was asleep by 8:15! Amazing considering it took an hour to get him to sleep two nights ago. They slept until 2:15am, ate, resisted a little, but were asleep by 3am. She was awake at 6:10am when I was getting ready but Indigo was still out. I'm guessing they were both awake by 6:45am based on the fact that Blue was getting them ready by 7am (I stalked on the monitor -- handy having an app for my phone!). This means they got about nine hours of sleep. Not quite the eleven we want, but closer than eight. We will give it a few more days and if this is still their wake up time, we will try a dreamfeed at 10pm. If they have even a few ounces then it might push their middle of the night feeding to 4am, which then means they won't be hungry and awake at 6am, and we'll feel less guilty having them wait for their morning feeding until 8am at daycare. So all this boils down to, they slept, and we slept! It was great!

#2. That second crib wasn't a waste! We split them up last night. I think this is a part of why they slept better -- no feet in each others' faces! Kind of sad to see them sleeping apart, but I think it's better for them at this point. We'd have had to do it when they started rolling over, anyways. They are growing up!

Of course, this means we'll need to find a new place to set out the next day's outfits, store extra blankets, and hang up spit-up-upon bibs and burpcloths...

#3. The Woombie. You can see they are both in Woombies now. The Halo Swaddle Sleepsacks were great in newborn size, but Indigo managed to wriggle the wings up by his shoulders in the larger Small size, giving him way too much freedom with his arms. The Woombie is both more restrictive (keeps arms close to the body) and more intentionally freeing (allows them to move their arms, albeit slowly so as to not startle awake). I think this has definitely helped with their ability to fall asleep and stay asleep.

#4. Being remembered. I got coffee from the same coffee cart guy for about three years before realizing I could save hella money by using the Keurig machine at work and adding French Vanilla coffee creamer I bring from home. I ran out of creamer this week so I ended up buying from him again for the first time in at least a year. And he remembered me! "Where have you been, having babies?" was the first thing he says. So I tell him, actually, yeah. Kind of funny that's the first thing he thought of, and that he said "babies" not "a baby." Always nice to be remembered!

#5. Great Chinese food. When we lived in the city, we always got Chinese from this one place, China Fun. Their General Tso's Chicken was to die for. It was kind of an addiction. I work right near the place and somehow manage to not get it for lunch all the time. In fact, I hadn't had it for at least a year. I decided yesterday that enough was enough. I had it delivered to work in the afternoon and brought it home via subway, commuter rail, and my car. And it was delicious! So worth the hassle! And there's enough for leftovers for at least one more meal, if not two!

Sleep Training Continues

I was so hopeful last night. Both babies had napped appropriately during the day. They ate at 8pm while I was at Zumba, and Blue got them into their crib by 9pm and read them a story. When I got home a little after 9 he was coming out of their room after his first revisit to pat and reinsert their pacifiers. Periwinkle started crying again at 9:15, and I went up at 9:17. I did a sway and shhh with her and got her eyes looking very sleepy. Indigo was awake but calm, but I did a sway and shhh with him too, mainly because my time with both of them was so limited yesterday because I decided to prioritize ME one day a week and do Zumba. I'm allowed. Still feeling a little guilty...

But in any event. I got both of them sleepy and then went to take a shower. When I got out around 9:45pm, Blue reported that one of them (he didn't check) had been halfheartedly crying but that they were both now sleeping. They worked it out and put themselves to sleep. Go babies!

I was in bed by 10:45pm and asleep soon after, absolutely exhausted from the night before and from Zumba. I'm surprisingly not sore today. I was awoken at 2:30am by Peri crying. I listened for a minute before I realized she wasn't crying so much as complaining, almost "talking" to her brother, who soon started responding. I decided that they were not hungry, just awake. I went in to their room and found them in each others' faces, having moved closer together so that they were now kicking each other. It's definitely time to split them up into separate cribs...

Periwinkle reenacts how I felt upon being woken up at 2:30am by her chit-chat.

I did the sway and shhh again with both of them and got them both sleeping again. Victory! (stupid me prematurely declaring success) I went back to bed and got maybe a half hour of sleep before they started up again. This time sway and shhh wasn't as effective, even though they still didn't seem too distressed. I got Peri asleep again but not Indigo. I changed his diaper and hoped that would do the trick. No go. More swaying and shhing and butt-patting and finally he was calm, at least. Back to bed with me. Twenty minutes later, so now almost 4am, and Periwinkle starts crying for real. This is more what I am used to. I declared defeat and went to make bottles. But I think I'm okay with that, because this time she did sound hungry. Indigo was still just looking around, calm, so we fed him as well.

And then neither of them wanted to go back to sleep. Blue somehow got them sleeping. I'm not sure how, since I conked out almost immediately in desperate need of some zzzzs. I don't think it took him longer than 15 minutes though, so I suppose that's not terrible. They aren't sleepy newborns anymore, after all, so we can't expect them to immediately fall asleep when we lay them down like they used to.

So thus far, I am happy that they napped better, and that I am getting better at reading their cries. I would like to eliminate that 2:30am "playtime" wake time, though. I think it is likely a result of them still being unused to their earlier bedtime and I am hoping that a few more days of this new routine will get them sleeping through until they are hungry, probably around 3:30am or 4am. If a few more days doesn't do the trick, I might try that dreamfeed idea when we go to bed around 10pm.

A work in progress...

And once we get them used to this bedtime, we'll start moving it even earlier in 15 minute increments. They should have an easier time adjusting to that than to this bigger jump from 11pm to 9pm. If daylight savings time doesn't totally eff it all up.

Sleep Training

For a while there, I didn't think we'd need to deal with sleep training. The kids seemed to go to bed just fine after a 10pm feeding (so around 11pm), wake up at 4:30am to eat, then sleep until woken up around 7:30am to go to daycare or hang out around the house if it's the weekend. Then two things happened.

1. I realized I wasn't getting to bed until nearly midnight because I'd be doing all my stuff after they went to bed, which made for Zombie Red once I went back to work. I get up at 6am to be at work by 8am. Figure six hours minus the 4:30am feeding equals about five hours of sleep. That's just not liveable for me.

Probably how I look these days.

2. I did a lot of reading and talking to other moms, and their kids were averaging about 11 hours of sleep at night. Ours were averaging about 8. This was likely creating a vicious cycle where they were then overtired the next day, napped erratically, got even more overtired, then didn't sleep as much at night, and so on. And napping does not have the same restorative features as nightsleep. Also, as the saying goes, "Sleep begets sleep." I.e., get your kids napping well and they will sleep better at night. And if they go to bed earlier at night, they will, quite ironically, go longer before waking up and sometimes will actually start sleeping through the night, because they are better rested and thus sleep more soundly.

So, our mission is two-pronged:

1. Get the kids napping more regularly. No more than two hours should pass between them waking and them going back into nap-land. I'm sure the daycare knows this, but judging from their recent naps, the babies are going too long in between naps during the day.

2. Work back their bedtime from 11pm to 8pm. If that works well, perhaps even try and move it to 7pm, which would probably be best for them. It would mean I would never see them, pretty much, until weekends, so that would be a bit rough on me.

So the plan:

I'm going to mention to daycare, as non-judgmentally as possible, that we really want to work on naptimes and wake times.  It also seems that Periwinkle has a tougher time transitioning between sleep cycles and they might be getting her up when she starts to cry about 45 minutes into her nap. Instead she might just need some patting and shushing to help her fall asleep again for another sleep cycle. I'm going to work on this on weekends before I bring it up at daycare. For now we'll have them work on keeping wake times to two hours or less.

As for the second part, it's worked out pretty well that the babies are now eating around 8:30am, 12:30pm, and 4:30pm. Which leads to a last feeding around 8:30pm and a middle-of-the-night feeding around 3am. Last night Periwinkle was out like a light at 9pm. Indigo had a harder time, but he was the one with the worst napping yesterday so I chalked it up to overtiredness. He did eventually fall asleep for good at 10:08pm after a few cycles of us going up to calm him, rock him, and give him his pacifier back. The last time he cried, I could tell it was different. He would cry somewhat half-heartedly for a few moments, then be quiet for perhaps 20 seconds, then cry again. After a few minutes of that he finally quieted for good and fell asleep. I'm hoping he'll get better at calming himself like he did that last time, and that if we just give him five minutes to cry and then self-soothe he'll put himself back to sleep. It is SO hard to listen to him cry, though, and even though I say we're waiting five minutes, we never make it that long. Luckily Periwinkle can sleep through his crying! This part of sleep training is a work in progress. We still need to push their bedtime another hour earlier but I will let them adjust to 9pm first. We'll get there, little by little.

Day 61 of Project365

Then of course last night Periwinkle was crying at 2:15am, and Indigo woke up around then too, which he rarely does. We tried in vain to get them back to sleep before caving at 3am and feeding them. They both then resisted going back to sleep, and it took about twenty minutes of us going in and calming them (they alternated whose turn it was to cry, which was somewhat helpful) to finally fall asleep again. It's pretty rare that they resist going back to sleep in the middle of the night, so I'm hoping that was just a fluke and not a new normal. I'm sure it has something to do with their new, earlier bedtime, so perhaps in a few days they'll have adjusted and will drift back to sleep like they used to. I ordered Indigo one of the Woombie things Periwinkle has been using this week because his size small swaddling sleep sack just doesn't keep his arms from flailing the way the newborn size did, which I think makes it harder for him to fall asleep. I'm hoping, anyways!

Another thing we might try is a dreamfeed before we go to bed. Essentially you get them to eat while they are still in their crib asleep. This might push the MOTN feeding from 3am to 5am or something like that. We'll see if we feel the need to do that though. Just another tool in our arsenal.

Unless you are a parent of an infant, this was all probably horrible boring for you. If you are my parents or in-laws, this might help you understand what we're now trying to do for next time you are babysitting! I promise I'm not crazy (although Blue probably thinks I am) and there is a lot of evidence behind this whole "early to bed means better sleeping, happier babies" thing.

Happy New Year!

I hope 2013 is treating all of you well so far! Yesterday we just chilled at home. I didn't even get out of my pajamas. It was fantastic. We watched some movies, cuddled some babies, and I spent some time working on a freelance project that is due today. I'm hoping I can finish up when the babies take a nap, if they'd just decide to nap at the same time!

We finally set up the swing we got and tried both babies in it. They seemed okay with it, but at the time were too riled up/hungry to stay in it for long. We'll try again today. It's a nice place to put a baby while I'm working, and that way Blue only has to watch one. Plus it gives babies some one-on-one time with each of us.

We also opened up their last few gifts from family members we didn't see at the holidays. They each got a glow worm, and Indigo got a glowing seahorse thing that makes music. Unfortunately for him, Periwinkle is probably going to use it more. She was a bit ornery this morning (of course) but once I put the seahorse next to her, she got quiet, and then got full of smiles.

I got maybe 45 minutes of happy Periwinkle before she wigged out again. She spent some time in the Ergo while I finished up my freelance project, and is currently crying again as I sit here hoping the seahorse can work its magic again (edited: it didn't. She's currently in my lap making little whimpers as she gathers her breath again). Indigo is just staring at her as if saying, "What is her problem and can you turn it off?"

Speaking of Indigo, I got the first REAL smiles out of him today. Big, wide-mouthed, gummy-toothed grins. It melted my heart. The grins came with real, prolonged eye contact, too. He's been a bit behind Periwinkle on these things, so it was so nice to see him catching up a bit. I'll try to catch the grins on camera next time but I didn't have one near me.

Lucky for us, we are entering the new year with two babies who are sleeping really well at night (although Periwinkle still struggles to nap during the day). We even got 6.5 hours out of them one night, followed by a five-hour chunk! We can work with that!

Naptime

So, along with trying to get them to sleep longer at night (unfortunately we seem to have reverted to 3.5-hour chunks of sleep), I'm also trying to monitor their daytime napping better. Previously, I would just let them doze off in their boppys or on their playmat, but I wasn't tracking how long they were sleeping. Some reading up online has led me to believe that they need more-structured, deeper-sleeping naptimes, which will hopefully translate into longer sleeping periods at night (fingers crossed!). I figure it'll take a week or so to iron it all out, which should be interesting with the holiday coming up...

In short, I think they were getting overtired, especially Periwinkle. So yesterday at the first yawn, up they went into their crib. Indigo wasn't really feeling it, though. He also wasn't feeling the evening nap (between 6 and 7:30), while Periwinkle conked out quite solidly. I'm hoping his lack of napping is why they woke up more frequently at night, but we'll see how it shakes out tonight. I keep optimistically mentally setting their next feeding at four hours, so it's sad when they are crying at three hours. Sometimes we can get away with changing the diaper of the crying baby and getting another 30 minutes or so out of them, but that's not always the issue. Sometimes, one baby is just hungry, and "feed one, feed both."

And now today, Indigo gave the first yawn, so up they went for a nap. It took him about 30 minutes to doze off, but Periwinkle is STILL lying there, burritoed up in her swaddle blanket, looking around the room, cooing, and occasionally trying to break her arms free. I'm thankful she's not screaming, so at least she's having "quiet time." But I'm not looking forward to her behavior later if she does get overtired as a result.

My reading says that the longest babies their age should be awake between naps is 1.5 hours, which is about when I put them down. It also says naps can last 30 minutes to 2 hours. They should be on a cycle of nap, eat, play, nap. Playing can be listening to music, tummy time, having a book read to them, or playing with toys. At this stage of their life, it's usually sitting in the boppy looking around, listening to music, and/or having a book read to them. Yesterday I introduced them to a stuffed animal, which Periwinkle liked to touch and Indigo liked to eat. I'll try to get pictures of that up soon.

Here's a picture of yesterday's boppy time:

This is one of very few times they will be in matching outfits. Periwinkle is in one of Indigo's old outfits he outgrew, and which he happened to have in the 0-3 month size as well. I think they look adorable! Of course, promptly after this photo was taken, Periwinkle spit up on hers so she got an outfit change.

Ah, spit up. Another issue to tackle...

In short, having two babies is hard. You try to get them on the same schedule, but as evidenced by their current "nap," sometimes one baby is tired and the other one isn't, or is at least resistant to napping. In the middle of the night, sometimes one baby is hungry and the other isn't. All we can do is try our best and try not to get too crazy when they don't cooperate.

Good thing they are cute!

Still Happy

So this tighter swaddling seems to be working! The first night they slept four hours before waking up with their hungry cries. I did have to change Indigo at the three hour mark, but then he went back to sleep.

Last night we went 4.5 hours between feedings! Again, I had to change Periwinkle around 3.5 hours but she went back to sleep easily. Last night I did try the Halo sleep sacks I just remembered we had, but Periwinkle was able to free her arms fairly quickly and started crying. Indigo made it to 5am, at which point we discovered he'd peed through his diaper and soaked the sleep sack, so into a Carter's blanket he went, as well. I'll still try the sleep sacks on him, mainly just to use them. I didn't have faith in our ability to swaddle with blankets when I registered for the sleep sacks, but really, we don't need them. Perhaps I can eBay them...

Not my child

And now they are both crying in their boppys, so off I go...

Happiest Babies on the Block?

Perhaps you've heard of this video, Happiest Baby on the Block? It claims to teach you the ways to calm your baby and get them to sleep longer via swaddling, shushing, putting them on their side, swinging them, etc. I was convinced it wouldn't do anything for us, as our babies sleep rather well and are generally not criers. If they are crying, changing their diaper or feeding them usually does the trick.

Well, tonight they were both ornery and whiny and generally unhappy. I decided to try the movie's more aggressive swaddling technique, even though our babies have, from day one, fought to keep their arms free. But I pinned their arms down and swaddled them tight, and now they are both lying quietly on their playmat, not struggling to get free, calm and content.

I am really hoping this translates into longer periods of sleep at night. Right now Indigo tends to wake up at the three-hour mark, and so we feed both of them even though Periwinkle is sound asleep. But perhaps with his arms by his side, he won't startle himself awake around the three-hour mark and will maybe make it to four hours? That would be glorious! We've also fed him 5oz instead of 4.5oz at the last two feedings, and he seems to be doing well with that amount. That should help him last longer between feedings, as well.

Here's hoping... I will update you on how they do tonight in my next post!

Almost Three Weeks Old!

How did that happen? Even crazier to consider they were supposed to be born today! The best laid plans...

Things continue to go well. Indigo is a rock star sleeper now, not even waking up when his sister cries. Or he'll just lie there and look sideways at her and then back at us as if to say, "What is her problem? Can't you turn it off?"

Periwinkle seems to have a "witching hour" between 11pm and 3am, although last night it was delayed a bit because she was up a lot during the day crying for seemingly no reason at all. I'm wondering if it's gas/stomachache related. She also tends to spit up at some point after eating, whether ten minutes later or two hours. She's eating slightly more than she had been in the NICU, which is what she should be doing, so it's not like we're overfeeding her. We continue to try new things and hope she'll settle into her new routine as she figures out night and day. With the constant noise and light in the NICU, it's no wonder she's a little backwards. We just feel so bad when we can't seem to comfort her in the middle of the night!!

And now, some cuteness:

Kind of holding hands

Indigo isn't sure about the bouncy seat.

Finally sleeping. During the day. My backwards girl.