A Letter to Indigo at Four Months

Dear Indigo,

At four months old, you are still my mellow baby. That's not to say there aren't times when you are the fussier child, especially at bedtime lately, but in general you just seem to observe the world and offer up your big goofy grins. Daycare says you are smiling more and more as you get used to them, and I'm glad you doing well there. This month it seems I caught more of your smiles on camera than those of your sister, and I can't help but smile myself when I see those pictures.

Mr. Smiles

You are definitely in 3-6 month clothes, as you remain bigger than your sister. I let her wear some of your old clothes, I hope you don't mind. She can pull off the tomboy look pretty well. Don't worry, Grandma is keeping you in style with new clothes. You've outgrown your tie shirt, but your new cousin will rock that outfit so it won't go unworn.

You are still trying to talk, and sometimes you repeat back to me the noises I make. Still nothing that sounds like real words, but you are trying. I can't wait to teach you baby sign language so you can communicate before you master talking, but there's a few months before I can even do that. Last night I sat you on my lap and you stared at me and talked at me, grinning when I copied your sounds.

Hanging out with your sister

But lately you've been doing something else: In a flash, you go from zero to full out heartbreaking crying that doesn't sound like a tiny baby's cry. No, you sound like a solid, older baby with a solid, baby boy voice. It never fails to scare the crap out of me because you sound so distressed and unhappy, and usually it happens without an obvious cause. I jump out of bed or off the couch and run to you, and luckily you usually calm down once you are in my arms or your daddy's. Sometimes you even do it when I'm holding you, so I know it's not just an "I want attention" cry. We're still working on figuring that one out, but know that we are trying. We want you happy and feeling safe and secure.

Like your sister, you're working those legs. You are constantly losing your socks because your legs are always on the move. I think you are going to love it when you get to try an exersaucer. I can prop you on the couch next to me and you sit up pretty well, nice and relaxed. Sometimes that is where you are happiest, if nothing else is working.

Typical man with the remote

You still haven't rolled over yet, but you have found the baby in the mirror. You seem worried by him, rather than amused, but I'm hoping you get to be friends. You also seem to notice your sister, looking at her when she's near you. I'm not sure you know what to make of her yet, though. It'll be fascinating to watch that relationship develop.

In general you seem to be the worrier, looking around you in concern or with wide, somewhat scared eyes when you aren't sure of something. Relax, little man. We're here to protect you.

Love,
Mama

The worrier