A Letter to Indigo at Two Years Old

Dear Indigo,

My, how time flies when you're having fun. Or when you are sleep deprived. Either way, here we are. You are two years old. Twenty-four months. 730 days. And not a baby anymore. You are a little boy, in love with trucks and school buses and dinosaurs. You rock a pink fedora and love pushing the pink and white pony toy around Nonno and Nonna's house. You are confident and loving and your laugh is definitely one of the best in the world. "Bubble Guppies" is your favorite tv show, and you love to dance when they sing.

I can't even list your vocabulary any more -- you pick up new words on what seems like a daily basis. When I walk through the door after work you turn around in your booster seat and your face lights up and you shout, "Mommy's here!" and then you point to the seat next to you and say, "Sit, mommy!" And Lord help anyone else who tries to sit there, in "Mommy's chair." Everyone has assigned seating, chosen by you and Periwinkle. You both love your routines, the familiarity of dinner at Nonna's table, with daddy in his chair, and mommy in hers, and everyone else settled appropriately. Dinner with milk, and then a cookie. Sometimes two.

You still resist going to sleep some nights, but there are more stretches of "easy" evenings, where Daddy and I get to eat before 9pm. Glorious evenings.

You are opinionated, refusing to brush your teeth until I threaten to use your toothbrush myself. You want to carry your own bag into daycare. You proudly lead me to the classroom door every morning, helping silly mommy who just can't seem to remember where it is.

You shout excitedly when we drive past school buses, letting me know, "Mommy, bus! Look there, mommy! Bus!" And then we drive away, and you sweetly ask, "More bus, Mommy?" as if I can make them materialize out of thin air. Luckily, the town usually comes through with at least one more bus as we drive along. Phew.

You still have a bit of a temper, an abrupt shift from my snuggly, sweet boy into a frustrated mess of emotion, and your go-to action is to bite. Sometimes you think it's funny and bite even when you aren't mad. If you try to bite your sister, she gets such a superior tone to her voice as she tells you, "No bite, Inno! Not nice!" It's kind of adorable, but please stop trying to bite her. Remember, angry dinosaurs can stomp and shout, but they never hurt other people. One of these days that will sink in. We are trying to help you express your anger and frustration in other ways, and you KNOW "No bite!" but you still don't always follow that rule. You, like all of us, are a work in progress.

You have had many successes on the potty, but we aren't pushing that too hard. It's fantastic when you lead me to the bathroom and then actually GO though. School is working with you on potty training, too, which is great. One of these days you'll get there! I'm just so proud that you are trying. I'm not going to lie, I'm looking forward to you both being out of diapers. So is my wallet.

You've been at your new daycare for two months now, and you are doing amazing. We have been told so many times how polite you both are, saying "Please" and "Thank you" without being prompted. Such a little man! You play with trucks nicely with your new friends, help clean up, and enjoy all the arts and crafts you do there. Last week you made a scarecrow, which you proudly show me every morning. I picked up your school pictures today, and was blown away by how mature you look.

They say we're entering the "terrible twos" but I have to say, you are at my favorite stage thus far (of course, I've said that at every stage thus far...). You are fun and funny, and we can have actual conversations. You are just starting to use your imagination, which makes playing with you so new and exciting. You are helpful and thoughtful, asking "Okay, Mommy?" if I seem upset and giving hugs all the time. Thankfully, you are still my snuggle bear.

Basically, I love you, little man. Now and always. Happy Birthday!

Love,
Mama

A Letter to Indigo at Eleven Months

Dear Indigo,

My little cuddle bug. You've come a long way from being that scrawny "velociraptor" you were in the hospital, although you've still got quite a set of lungs. Lately I've been wondering if you are confused and think you are going to be turning two, not one, because you seem to be breaking out the temper tantrums a bit. You seem to get into fights with the shape-sorter cube on a daily basis, which end in you face down on the blanket screaming. We really wish we knew why you were getting so frustrated, but we'll keep trying to help you out.

Turning into a little boy.

And the other side of the coin, you are a gentle, sweet, and loving little boy who loves snuggle time with Mommy and Daddy, but especially Daddy. You've gotten into the habit of crying at bedtime again. We don't want you to prevent your sister from sleeping, so we remove you from the room and you end up falling asleep on one of us. The past week or so, I've tried to break this habit. I'll hold you until you are calm and sleepy, but awake, then put you down in your crib. You start to cry again but I quickly soothe you by rubbing your back and behind your ear. Eventually, you are asleep. Last night I didn't even have to hold you (but I did miss those snuggles). I just kept rubbing your back. If I stepped away, you started to cry, but a reassuring, "Mama's here" calmed you down again. I think you miss us. I think we don't get enough time together during the week so you just soak it up on the weekends and at bedtime. I'm sorry, little man. We miss you too.

More hugs!

But you are making so much progress at daycare and we are so proud of you. You are getting better at waving, and are a pretty awesome high-fiver. You stand with such pride, and I know you'll be walking, holding our hands, just as fast as your sister, any day now. But best of all, you are so expressive. You tell detailed stories with such earnest facial expressions, such perfect inflections of your voice, I can almost understand what you are saying in your baby babble. I do love a good story.

High Five!

You are definitely having fun testing your boundaries. You will repeatedly grab at bottles in the wine cabinet, turning around to look at us with a sly grin when we call your name and tell you no before reaching for them again. You think the tray of DVDs under the TV is yours to play with, and you recently discovered one of the cabinet doors moves. Part of all this is the many bumps and falls you've had as you realize the ottoman rocks back and forth and the new stroller will roll away from you if you try to pull up on it. But you keep trying. You are one determined little boy.

You braved your flu shot at the doctor's office, and are 22lbs even and 29.25 inches long. Your head circumference is 46cm. You are in 55th percentile for weight, 58th for height, and 69th for head size. Basically, you're right on track!

Trying to escape?

You are really into books lately, especially the one that makes animal noises. Every time I push the puppy and it barks, your face gets this look of such astonishment and delight and you give a little shout as if saying, "Mama, did you hear that? Amazing!" It's perfect. You like turning the pages, even if you are holding the book upside-down. And you love pointing to the kitties. I think you are making the connection with our two kitties, and I love it.

Nothing like a good book

One of the best parts of my day is still picking you two up at daycare. The second I walk through the door and you two realize I'm there, it's off to the races. The baby races, that is. You both just bolt for me across the floor. If I pick one of you up, the other will cry. If I pick neither of you up, you both cry. There is no winning. But I just love how excited you are to see me, because I am just as excited to see you. We put on some kids music in the car on the way home and have a grand old time singing along to "The Wheels on the Bus" and "Old McDonald." You seem to really enjoy the sound effects.

Let the race begin!

I love you, little man, with a "moo, moo" here and a "moo, moo" there.

Love,
Mama

Checking out the ground

A Letter to Periwinkle at Eleven Months

Dear Periwinkle,

Eleven months. Is that it? Only eleven months knowing you; your smile; your sweet, sleeping face? Impossible. You bring such joy to our lives every single day that it seems a part of us must have been missing before you came into the world. And lately you have been bringing that joy in such fun new ways.

What's up, Mama?

You can now wave and say, "Hi!" in this adorable, chipper voice. One rare night when you fought going to sleep, I was holding you and you just kept waving and saying, "Hi!" like that would somehow save you from bedtime. "Look, Mama, I'm doing that thing that always makes you smile! See, I'm waving!" It didn't work. Mama won that battle. But it was damned cute. We're working on "Bye" now, although you will wave and say, "Hi" as we leave a place. Daddy says we should have taught you "Ciao" instead, since that works both ways. We'll get there.

This past week you also brought "Uh oh" into the picture, out of the blue. You'll say it and then drop something (wrong order, sweetie). And sometimes we'll just hear this little voice from the backseat saying, "Uh oh." Always with a slight pause in between. Daddy and I just crack up sometimes because it is just too cute we can't take it anymore.

Red Sox girl (to Daddy's chagrin)

You also learned how to high-five at daycare. I'm hoping since you are getting good at these hand gestures you'll soon start doing some of the baby sign language too, especially "all done" and "more." Sometimes you don't want your whole bottle anymore and you slap it away and we end up with formula everywhere. A simple hand gesture would be much cleaner, thank you.

So much hair!

You've also started sticking up your pointer finger. I'm trying to get you to associate that with the question, "How old are you?" so maybe by your birthday (in only a MONTH) you'll be able to proudly raise that little chubby finger in response. We'll see how that goes.

You also seem to be using that finger to actually point at things. You pointed at the Cat in the Hat stuffed animal Grandpa G got you but then seemed apprehensive when it got closer to you. You two are still in negotiations about physical boundaries, it seems.

Pointing at the Cat in the Hat

Another foe is the big orange ball. It started out in the pool but has come inside since your brother really likes it. But we keep it away from you because if it gets to close to you, you cry and cling to us. We get it, baby girl, we'll keep you safe. Except in "Chloe's Color Book" (thank you Citrus Lane) there is a big orange ball, and you always point to it when we get to that page. Always. And almost never do you point at anything else in the book. It's as if you are working up to the REAL orange ball by touching the one in the book. You'll get there.

Exploring

You are now a pro at walking around holding our hands. You pull up on your crib constantly and are starting to make your way around it on your own. You pull up on basically anything you can. A few times, you've been standing holding my hands when you let go, and you stood on your own for at least five seconds before you fell onto your rump. I don't think you even realized what you did, but I was so proud.

Not the safest choice for pulling up

You're also quite the prolific artist. In your new daycare room, where you are doing quite well and are apparently the "boss", even of kids older than you (that's my girl! Taking after Mama!), fingerpainting is a near-daily activity. You've painted apples, leaves, handprints, and a snake. I guess it's time to buy some art supplies for our house!

Turn off the flash, Mama, it's 6am

This month we went to the Big E in Massachusetts with Grandma and Grandpa. You saw lots of big animals and were very brave around them, and also quite fascinated by them. You also went to the doctor. You are now 20lb 13oz and 28 inches long. You got your flu shot like a champ. The doctor said you are perfect.

I'm so proud of all your accomplishments this month. You are so engaged with the world around you and you just soak it all up. Keep learning, little girl. Learning is pretty awesome.

Love,
Mama

Starting to "read" books

Biting Begins

Indigo got bit at daycare the other day, by another baby about his age. I really didn't think this started this young, but I guess they are all almost a year old so... he got bit.

Not actual biter

Apparently all the babies were playing together on the floor when Indigo started crying and hitting this other kid. This being rather out of character for our mellow man, they picked him up and noticed bite marks and a very red leg. Poor guy. He started his day with a mystery bruise on his other leg, and now this. So I got two phone calls from daycare in one day. They went something like this:

"Hi, this is Teacher from DaycareNOTANEMERGECY. But we wanted you to know that..."

I just loved the quick "Not an emergency!" line to calm me down in case I freaked out. Good thinking.

By the second phone call, the one about the bite, all I could do was laugh. And then I felt terrible for laughing that my son got bit. It was more laughing at the cruddy day he was having than at the fact that he got bit. But I'm pretty sure the daycare lady thought I was horrible.

They felt really bad about the whole situation, and iced his leg and gave him some extra cuddles, and wrote it all up in a report I had to sign. I'm assuming the biter's mother got a similar sheet to sign, although I don't know which baby it was. I'm sure they are under careful surveillance, at any rate.

Daycare is closed today for teacher training, so Blue is home with them watching Upside Downton Abbey on Sesame Street and getting far more out of it than they are. If the weather permits, they'll be going on walks and playing on swings and having a grand day while I toil away at work. Boooo!

And next week they start in their new class with their new teacher at daycare. They never ended up getting any "transition time" with her this week, so I really hope it goes smoothly, especially considering how attached Periwinkle is to Miss S. Fingers crossed...

Hello Again

I know I've been neglecting the blog lately. So sorry! But with two babies who are figuring out how to get around there's no more just putting them down and doing other things anymore. They can scootch off the couch at will, roll all over the place, rotate, switch places on the blanket on the floor, amble far off of the blanket in the blink of an eye, and Periwinkle is even figuring out how to reverse-crawl to some degree. No rest for this mama!

On the move

Periwinkle is even getting really good at sitting up on her own. Indigo still needs the bumbo seat, or two boppies behind him, to stay upright. He'll get there. As usual, he's about a month behind her on the physical milestones.

 

 

Periwinkle got some new hairbows this week. Blue hates them and thinks they are unnecessary. Of course he also says he prefers me with no makeup, and makeup is VERY necessary, so you can see how I don't trust his opinion on girly things. Peri has been described as Aunt Jemima and Tupak Shakur. I think she's just adorable, either way! And she is obviously very happy with her new accessories.

Bag by the Love, Mich Collection (a high school friend makes awesome bags!)

She's been having some issues at daycare, however. For one, she has taken to shouting at her brother. She doesn't shout at any other kids, just him. And it startles him, and he gets that crazy wild-eyed look that he gets when he wakes up from naps or I use the flash on my camera. She's also taken to stealing toys from him. Whatever he is playing with, she tries to take. Once she gets it and he moves on, she wants that toy. It never ends. Once she finished her bottle first, so I sat her up. She promptly reached out for his bottle. I need to teach her about sharing...

Also this week I guess she and another baby a bit older than her were hanging out on the floor. The other baby took Periwinkle's socks off her feet and started waving them around in the air. Periwinkle burst into tears. I can't help thinking she wasn't upset so much that she found herself without her socks, but rather at the blatant taunting the other baby was doing. Because we are a pretty sock-free household once we get them home. I also can't help cracking up at the idea of the other baby stealing Peri's socks. All I know is that I've got my eye on that other baby now. No messing with my kiddo!

In any event, that's what's going on lately. I'll have a more Indigo-centric post in a few days.

Morning Dropoff

Rocking Star Trek onesies last weekend. Day 73 of Project 365.

It's a good thing I don't usually do daycare dropoff in the morning, because I'd be really tempted on a daily basis to play hooky with these two goofballs. Blue is travelling for work this week so I've been in charge. They are usually so chipper in the morning! When I hand them over to the daycare teachers, Periwinkle inevitably gives one of her hiccuping laughs and a huge smile crosses her face. She's so happy to be there! This makes me both happy and sad. She probably doesn't even remember when I was home with them during my leave.

Moody babies. Day 75 of Project 365.

By the time I pick them up in the afternoon, she's a moody mess from not napping enough and cries all the way home. Then it's time to squeeze in one last nap, a final bottle, and then bed by 8pm. In fact, last night she finally conked out for that "nap" at 7 so I ended up dreamfeeding her in the swing and putting her to bed without waking her up. And she slept until 1:30am! Crazy!

Day 76 of Project 365. Happy Spring!

But where's the fun in that? I miss the interactions we get with them on the weekends. I rarely hear them attempt to talk during the week, since that is a daytime activity for them and by evening they are tired and less likely to "talk." They definitely spend more waking hours with daycare than with us. So, to them, are WE the temporary help, and daycare the all-the-time people? An interesting and sad thought.

Day 77 of Project 365

So, I'm glad it's almost the weekend. Of course, we're visiting family so I'll have to fight to hold them probably, but at least I'll be in the same room with them and can hear their giggles and see their smiles.

Day 78 of Project 365

Yeah, definitely good I don't drop them off every day. I get way too misty-eyed about this whole daycare thing.

Seven hours until I pick them up. I can't wait!

Back to Work

It's fun when coworkers ask if it's good to be back. I just kind of cheerily say, "Sure!" sarcastically or "It'll take some getting used to" sincerely. I tried to pretend to be actually happy to be back, but it's not true and I don't think anyone believed me.

I hate it. I hate that some of the only people there I talked to regularly are gone (but I'm happy they found new jobs that are more suited to them), and that I'm not even doing my full job yet. For the next month I'll be doing "special projects," which means all the little side projects I'd try to squeeze in between my usual big projects. Since she has someone doing those big projects for now (my maternity replacement), I get to finish up all those side projects. Which aren't interesting. And it makes me a little nervous that she doesn't desperately need me back. Nothing like going back to work with two new mouths to feed and feeling like your job might be on shaky ground. I'm sure I'm just being paranoid. I hope. As much as I hate being away from the kiddos all day, we need me to keep working for the foreseeable future.

But everyone has been really nice, asking about the babies, asking to see pictures, and deeming them totally frakking adorable. So that's been fun. And I can finally sleep on the train again, now that Periwinkle isn't digging into my left ribcage. How I missed those 30-minute naps in the final weeks of pregnancy!

The babies continue to do awesome at daycare, saving most of their crying for us at home. Although they are sleeping great, so I can't complain too much! They've even slept straight through from 11pm to 6:30am a few times. It's glorious! We are so lucky they are both doing it at the same time. Although last night they were up at 3:30am begging for food, so we aren't at sleeping through the night EVERY night quite yet, but I will take what I can get!

Here's a photo from Day 31 of Project 365, which was Superbowl Sunday!

Indigo wasn't happy to be propped incorrectly (very briefly) on the Boppy for this photo, but I wanted them closer together. He was yelling at me. He cracks me up...

Daycare Day 1

So, we all survived. No one cried at drop-off (they were asleep in their car seats, I was surprisingly okay). The babies looked stylish and actually stayed in the same outfits all day--no massive spit-up attacks or poosplosions. The cats and I enjoyed a quiet Monday for the first time in a long time.

Day 25 of Project 365: First Day of School

The teachers said I could feel free to call to check on them. When I thought about doing it, it brought me back to Periwinkle's NICU days. "Hi, this is Mommy Fish, calling to check on Fish Twin Two." I didn't end up calling.

When I went to pick them up, I expected the teachers to tell me Periwinkle had cried all day. As it turns out, she was a perfect little angel. Until they handed her to me. Then she started crying. Ah, there's my daughter!


Indigo was napping (of course) and hardly noticed the transfer back to his car seat. They both napped well (who is this girl? why won't she do that for me?), and Periwinkle ate well. Indigo was a bit of a slacker on that front, but perhaps he was just feeling off from the new routine. All in all, I think they had a successful first day.

As for me, I got a massage. It was awesome.

Daycare Prep

I have to admit I've been a bit in denial about the babies starting daycare on Monday. As a result, I've done absolutely nothing to prepare. We need to gather, for each baby, a tote bag containing the following:

1. two changes of clothes
2. crib sheet
3. blanket
4. bottles
5. formula
6. diapers
7. wipes
8. diaper cream (we use Boudreaux's Butt Paste)
9. socks
10. bibs
11. pacifiers

We also need to label everything with their names. I'm figuring Sharpie markers should do the trick.

But first I need to go shopping to get them cute tote bags (to make it somewhat fun for me to do), extra blankets, more pacifiers, and extra sheets. I'm not willing to send any of ours from home, and I have Babies R Us rewards dollars to spend, so why not?

Normally Blue will be doing dropoff and I will be picking them up, but for the first week I think we'll be doing both together.

Have I forgotten anything on the list? Any tales from personal experience to help us deal with this big change?

Also, day 19 from my 365 Project!

Last Week as a SAHM

That's Stay at Home Mom, for the uninitiated. A week from today the babies start daycare. A week after that I start back to work. Today is my last Monday home with them (until Presidents Day, but that's not the same). I can't even say I have mixed feelings about this. I am 100% dreading going back to work and being gone from them for 12 hours a day. I wish I could immediately start freelancing from home while watching the kids, but that's not in the cards quite yet. Hopefully in the next year or so, but right now I'll be working for our amazing health insurance and other benefits my employer offers.

I know the kids will be fine at daycare, that it will be good for them to get to "know" other adults and babies, that they will probably get more tummy time and new ways to play, etc etc. But knowing isn't the same as liking. I fully expect to tear up a little, both next week and the week I go back to work. Which reminds me, I need to print out some pictures to put at my desk. Luckily my boss is letting me start back at reduced hours that first week, so that should help.

As should my massage and hair appointment I have scheduled for next week. Part of me is looking forward to having a week at home to veg, to go out without babies in tow, to have a few hours a day where I am not always thinking about the babies' needs. I was supposed to have three weeks of bedrest before they came and only had one, so I see this as a bit of a continuation of that. Hard to believe it's been almost 15 weeks since I was at work, since that cab ride through Times Square (stupid cabbie!) when I said goodbye to the city for the next few months. It has both felt like forever, a lifetime ago, and like a blink of an eye. Funny how that happens.

I guess all this is just to prepare you for any wacky, overly emotional posts that might result from all of this change. I know millions of moms have gone through this exact scenario and survived, but now it's my turn, and so it feels completely unique and terrible. Indulge me for a bit, please.