A Letter to Periwinkle at Three Years Old

Dear Periwinkle,

In less than two days, you will be three years old. Three years ago, I was searching for apple cider donuts at Dunkin, complaining of an aching back, cleaning the house, and eagerly awaiting your arrival in 3 weeks. Little did I know it’d be only 36 hours. Little did I know how completely my world would change.

And so here we are. You are so smart and conversational, I often forget you are only three, rather than thirteen. Your logic and reasoning skills are rather astounding (though I may be biased) and absolutely adorable. You informed Boomer he could not come in the playroom because he did not have fingers and thus could not play with the toys. You negotiate more time before bed, more cookies, more pears, more trips to the library, more stickers, with the ease of a studied lawyer. You are an expert at dealing with an Indigo meltdown, often giving way in an attempt to soothe him. “Okay, Inno. We can watch Mickey first, then Daniel Tiger,” even though it is your turn to choose. My heart swells with pride when you do that, seeing your empathetic soul. When we brought the cats to the vet and they were crying in their cages, you started crying along with them, begging us to let them out. The cats barely give you the time of day, and yet your heart ached for them. 

You are sweet and loving, yet still fiercely independent. “I do it” has turned into “Let me do it myself!” but your stubborn pride is the same. Often, you will turn back to me moments later, “Can you help me?” on your lips; but more and more often, you succeed where once you struggled. It is bittersweet seeing you accomplish more and more on your own, my girl who from minute one pushed away from me to look around the recovery room in the hospital. You still take in so much of what you see and hear, recalling it days or even months later when I think you must have forgotten by now. 

You handled moving (again) like a champ. You transitioned into your new shared room without issue, and this past month you transitioned again into your big girl room with little struggle. In the morning you proudly announce, “I slept in my room all by myself!” If only falling asleep all by yourself were easier, but we’ll get there.

You have taken to preschool like fish to the water (although swimming lessons this summer were a failure—things to work on). I love seeing the worksheets sent home, with your circles around all the letter A’s and B’s, your scrawling handwriting as you learn to trace letters and now words. I have no doubt you soon will be reading me stories instead of vice versa. I’m so very proud of all you are accomplishing. You are also pretty much potty trained, which is awesome. Just . . . awesome. Keep it up!

This year has been so much fun, seeing you experience everything around you and seeing you turn from a baby into a little girl. I’m in complete denial that you are old enough to not be in diapers, old enough to pedal your tricycle and help me bake cookies. Old enough to remind me to stay within the lines when I’m driving (I always do), and to tell me that a stop sign is an octagon, not a hexagon. But you’ll always be my baby girl.

Love,

Mama

A Letter to Periwinkle at 18 Months

Dear Periwinkle,

I am constantly reminded of myself when I look at you. It goes beyond our similar facial features and wild, curly hair, though. You are a know-it-all, bossy little kid. You crack me up. If Indigo is doing something you know he shouldn't be doing, you call out to him with your nickname for him, waggle your pointer finger back and forth, and say, "No, no, no!" Then you look to me or Daddy for approval. I love that you are trying to help. It's adorable. But I must warn you to not become a tattle-tale. Sometimes breaking the rules is okay. Of course, sometimes you tattle on yourself, which is perfectly acceptable (and hilarious).

You have such a matter of fact attitude about telling your brother what to do, and about picking out books to read, and about walking from here to there and back again. You are full of confidence. I love that about you. But remember to be humble, too. Remember sometimes other people will struggle with what you find easy, and remember to have compassion when they need help to get there too. Sometimes you will want to help, and that is wonderful, but do it gently, kindly, and without making them feel badly about needing help. This can be a fine line to walk, but I know you will figure it out with grace and charm. Hopefully more quickly than I did. And remember that there will be times when you will require their help, and that you should accept their help with the same grace and kindness.

But all of this is rather serious for an 18-month-old girl, I suppose. You are still a baby. Or perhaps not. A toddler. You still shriek when you don't get your way. You still throw your sippy cup on the floor when you are feeling tempestuous. You still cry in the morning if we don't get you quickly enough. You still toss food on the ground instead of saying "All done!" and waiting for us to remove you from your high chair.

But soon you won't need the high chair. Soon you won't have a crib at daycare. You'll have little benches to sit on and cots to nap on.

In the morning you and your brother sometimes blow each other kisses. I wake up with a smile on my face on those days. We'll hear you say, "Where Mommy, Daddy?" and Indigo will raise his arms up in a questioning manner and say, with his voice dripping concern, "Oh, no!" I love it. And I also feel bad, so I scurry in there, or send Daddy in while I steal a few extra moments snuggled in bed. And you both break out in grins and start jumping up and down, so excited to see us.

Watching you two interact more and more has been the highlight of the past six months. You give each other hugs and kisses. You chatter to each other and make each other laugh. When your brother is crying, you get so worried about him, and you rub his back like you've seen me and Daddy do many times. It is perhaps the sweetest thing I've ever seen. Never mind that you, too, are unhappy it's bedtime. When he cries you reach out to comfort him. When he calls out for his Elmo or his "bankie" you bring him Elmo and his favorite blanket. You are such an amazing little sister to him. He is so lucky to have you.

Worried about your brother crying upstairs.

You saw Daddy blow his nose one day, and you just had to do it. Now if the box of tissues is within reach, you grab a few, hold them to your nose, and blow raspberries to make a similar sound. Then you delicately hand the tissues to me to dispose of. You are so into imitating everything we do. A clean diaper fell on the floor, and you picked it up and tried to shove it into the diaper pail. If you find scrap paper on the floor, you bring it to the trash and put it in. You like when we give you a paper towel to "clean" your tray, and you enjoy studying mail. I even got you to help Swiffer the floors once. I will have to think of other ways to have you help us around the house, while you still enjoy it!

I can't wait to see what the next six months bring. What new skills will you learn? What new funny phrases will you utter with complete seriousness, sounding older than you are? What will scare you, and what will intrigue you? The summer is coming, and with it such adventures!

Just stop calling me "Mom," okay? It's "Mommy" or "Mama." At least for a few more years, please.

Love,
Mama

A Letter to Periwinkle at One Year (or 13 months)

Dear Periwinkle.

Happy thirteen months! So much has happened since I last wrote I just couldn't bring myself to sit down and write it all down. I'd much rather hang out with you.

You say several words now: kitty, ball, book, hi, bye, uh-oh, mama, dada, and more. You also sign "more" and "all done" and "milk." And when I ask you how old you are, half the time you stick up your index finger: ONE! You also babble quite a bit, making up words as you go. You and your brother both say "Ah-boo" constantly, and I just wish I knew what that meant.

You are a trouper when your brother tries to bite you, but you exact your revenge by often bonking him over the head with whatever toy you have in your hand. So you each have your own behavior issues that we need to work on!

You cruise like a pro, and can even walk a few steps holding only one of my hands. I definitely see you walking by Christmas! You wear us down by insisting on walking from here to there, there to here, and back and forth again and again. You are so proud of your walking skills, I just love how your face lights up with such joy.

You've become a pickier eater lately, refusing eggs and avocado, so I am constantly on the hunt for new foods you will try and eat. I made cauliflower tots that you really enjoyed, so I will have to make them again soon! At least you still like cheese.

Your hair is getting longer and curlier. You definitely have my hair! I need to find barrettes, or you will be in pigtails every day! Either that or we cut your bangs, which I don't want to do yet. You don't seem to mind your hair in your face though.

You have transitioned to sippy cups very well, although we still do bottles in the morning and at night. I'm hoping you transition off the pacifier at naptime as easily, but somehow I don't think that will be the case. When you are done eating your solid food, you let us know by dropping pieces onto the floor next to your high chair. Sometimes you do the "all done" sign. I prefer that, just so you know.

I can't wait to see what changes the next year brings! You are such a fun and loving little girl (although feel free to get over the "Mommy all the time" stage any time now) and I just love spending time with you, even if I do collapse into bed at the end of the day.

Happy (belated) birthday, little girl!

Love,

Mama

A Letter to Periwinkle at Eleven Months

Dear Periwinkle,

Eleven months. Is that it? Only eleven months knowing you; your smile; your sweet, sleeping face? Impossible. You bring such joy to our lives every single day that it seems a part of us must have been missing before you came into the world. And lately you have been bringing that joy in such fun new ways.

What's up, Mama?

You can now wave and say, "Hi!" in this adorable, chipper voice. One rare night when you fought going to sleep, I was holding you and you just kept waving and saying, "Hi!" like that would somehow save you from bedtime. "Look, Mama, I'm doing that thing that always makes you smile! See, I'm waving!" It didn't work. Mama won that battle. But it was damned cute. We're working on "Bye" now, although you will wave and say, "Hi" as we leave a place. Daddy says we should have taught you "Ciao" instead, since that works both ways. We'll get there.

This past week you also brought "Uh oh" into the picture, out of the blue. You'll say it and then drop something (wrong order, sweetie). And sometimes we'll just hear this little voice from the backseat saying, "Uh oh." Always with a slight pause in between. Daddy and I just crack up sometimes because it is just too cute we can't take it anymore.

Red Sox girl (to Daddy's chagrin)

You also learned how to high-five at daycare. I'm hoping since you are getting good at these hand gestures you'll soon start doing some of the baby sign language too, especially "all done" and "more." Sometimes you don't want your whole bottle anymore and you slap it away and we end up with formula everywhere. A simple hand gesture would be much cleaner, thank you.

So much hair!

You've also started sticking up your pointer finger. I'm trying to get you to associate that with the question, "How old are you?" so maybe by your birthday (in only a MONTH) you'll be able to proudly raise that little chubby finger in response. We'll see how that goes.

You also seem to be using that finger to actually point at things. You pointed at the Cat in the Hat stuffed animal Grandpa G got you but then seemed apprehensive when it got closer to you. You two are still in negotiations about physical boundaries, it seems.

Pointing at the Cat in the Hat

Another foe is the big orange ball. It started out in the pool but has come inside since your brother really likes it. But we keep it away from you because if it gets to close to you, you cry and cling to us. We get it, baby girl, we'll keep you safe. Except in "Chloe's Color Book" (thank you Citrus Lane) there is a big orange ball, and you always point to it when we get to that page. Always. And almost never do you point at anything else in the book. It's as if you are working up to the REAL orange ball by touching the one in the book. You'll get there.

Exploring

You are now a pro at walking around holding our hands. You pull up on your crib constantly and are starting to make your way around it on your own. You pull up on basically anything you can. A few times, you've been standing holding my hands when you let go, and you stood on your own for at least five seconds before you fell onto your rump. I don't think you even realized what you did, but I was so proud.

Not the safest choice for pulling up

You're also quite the prolific artist. In your new daycare room, where you are doing quite well and are apparently the "boss", even of kids older than you (that's my girl! Taking after Mama!), fingerpainting is a near-daily activity. You've painted apples, leaves, handprints, and a snake. I guess it's time to buy some art supplies for our house!

Turn off the flash, Mama, it's 6am

This month we went to the Big E in Massachusetts with Grandma and Grandpa. You saw lots of big animals and were very brave around them, and also quite fascinated by them. You also went to the doctor. You are now 20lb 13oz and 28 inches long. You got your flu shot like a champ. The doctor said you are perfect.

I'm so proud of all your accomplishments this month. You are so engaged with the world around you and you just soak it all up. Keep learning, little girl. Learning is pretty awesome.

Love,
Mama

Starting to "read" books

A Letter to Periwinkle at 10 Months

Dear Periwinkle,

You, my little baby girl, are giving us a run for our money. You are now a speed demon at crawling, and before I've walked out of the room you are halfway across it trying to follow me. You crawled over to the liquor cabinet the other day and tried to open it. Time to get some latches on the doors! If we put your bottle on the floor, you give a little cry then crawl over to it at super speed. It's adorable. It's also time for baby gates, as you put your arms up on the bottom step, so I know attempts to climb the stairs can't be far behind.

You're holding steady at two teeth, which you show off with your adorable open-mouth grins. You're using those teeth to tear through chicken, pork, and black beans, which seem to be your new favorite food.

This month you had a lot of firsts. First bath in the big tub. First time in swings at the park. First time in a grocery shopping cart. First eight steps while holding my hands. That's right. You walked a little bit! And quite speedily, at that! You've also pulled up in the crib a few times, although I still haven't seen that.

You also got your first denim skirt and your first pigtails. Completely cute.

 

You seem fascinated with putting things in buckets and taking them out again. I hear this is an important learning game for you babies, so I'm proud of you for working on it so intently. However, you are seemingly terrified of the large orange ball we have. Your brother loves it, but you just start shrieking.

In general, you sleep great. It doesn't seem to matter how you nap during the day, at 6:30pm you are out like a light. And at 6am, sometimes earlier, you are awake and chipper, sitting up and trying to pull up on the crib. You also try to get toys off the shelf next to your crib, so I sometimes find those in your crib with you!

You are my little troublemaker for sure, and I love you for it. I can only imagine what you have in store for us as we get closer to your first birthday!

Love,
Mama

A Letter to Periwinkle at Nine Months

Dear Periwinkle,

You got to celebrate your nine month birthday at the beach, on vacation with us, Grandma and Grandpa, your aunt and uncle and little cousin. Not bad!

With Indigo, Grandpa, and Grandma

 We did a little photo shoot on the beach with Uncle B the day before, with you in your red sun hat. You weren't in the best of moods, but you still looked adorable.

A shot by Grandma during your "photo shoot"

We went to the aquarium in Mystic that week, too. We weren't sure how much you would get out of it, but you seemed very intrigued by the stingrays and the penguins. You weren't quite sure what to make of the sea lions or little fish, and were just done with the whole thing by the time we hit the belugas, but we will definitely take you again sometime as you get older. You were both very well behaved, which was great. Even when a torrential downpour started up just as we went outside!

 

Oooh, penguins!

I feel like most of your achievements this month happened during that one week at the beach. You got ridiculously good at pulling yourself up to standing. It now seems like one of your favorite things to do. You lean over to me and try to grab on to me so you can pull up. So far though you still need to be holding onto someone's hands for you to be successful. When you get to standing you grin, so proud of yourself. Sometimes you even take a half step or two. And sometimes you think you can let go of our hands and end up back on your bum. But you always try again. Keep trying, little lady!

Standing with Grandma

You popped your second tooth that week, too. That's right, you have TWO teeth now! And plenty of drool-covered cloths and empty boxes of tissues to prove it. You had some ornery days (surprise, surprise) but generally came through like a champ. We're lucky it didn't really affect your sleeping at night (thank goodness). Your brother took care of that for you.

A chilly last day at the beach

You're eating a lot of foods, including cut up strawberries, scrambled eggs, toast, Cheerios, pieces of meat from whatever we are eating, and the trusty standbys of sweet potatoes and yogurt. Oh, and broccoli!

Happy little broccoli trees

You got very good at crawling backwards to get where you wanted to go this past month, and now can go forward, but that technically happened after your nine month birthday so we'll save that for next month's letter. Your hair is getting longer and thicker, and possibly lighter, and your eyes are almost totally brown now. I enjoyed your baby blues while they lasted!

A little curl! Brown eyes! So grown up!

You are still chatty and smiley in the morning. It just makes my day to see you grinning at me like that. I keep talking to you and doing some baby sign language and hope that soon you will be able to communicate with us a little bit. You raise your arms up when I go to pick you up, which I love. If you are on your tummy and you know I'm going to pick you up you still lift your arms and raise your chest up high so I can grab you. I'm convinced you will be a rock star at Pilates.

You enjoyed the Fourth of July and managed to sleep through the fireworks, thank goodness. You've gone in the pool several times, in a little orange float we got you. You need to stop kicking your legs because you will propel yourself OUT of the float, and that scares me a little bit. But you definitely enjoy the water. At the beach you seemed to want to jump out of our arms to go into the waves, and you were okay with getting your feet wet. We have a little fish on our hands. I was a little fish too.

On July Fourth

Ready to go in the pool!

I love seeing all the ways you are like me and all the ways you are so different from me. You are such an awesome little girl and I love you beyond words. Happy nine months, baby girl!

Love,
Mama

On the ferry en route to Rhode Island. You weren't quite sure how you felt.

A Letter to Periwinkle at Eight Months

Dear Periwinkle,

You have a tooth! It's just barely peeking out of your gums, but it is there! We knew it was coming for about a week, as that area of your gums was definitely getting harder, but it was just so exciting to finally SEE it. A tooth! My little baby girl has a tooth, with more soon to follow. Insane. How are we at eight months already? How are you teething and getting on all fours and nearly crawling? Aren't you still my helpless little preemie? I know you will still need me for quite a while, but still, that tooth seems like such a big step as you continue to develop into your own independent person. And once you can crawl and then walk it will be harder to dictate where you go. You'll be expressing your opinions and throwing tantrums and laughing and growing into a little girl. But I suppose I'm getting ahead of myself. It is just your first tooth.

We are going to have to lower your crib sooner rather than later, as you've started rocking on all fours in your crib. It's not such a big step to grab onto the rail and pull yourself up. And then we'd be in trouble. I should know. Your uncle used to tell me how to climb out of my crib when I was a baby. We gals are trouble.

This month you've definitely been asserting yourself. You shout at your brother to get his attention. You shout hello when I pick you up at daycare. You shout at the cats in excitement to try to get them to play with you (hint: yelling at them will not work. Trust me.). You shout when I put your new hat on you. You shout when you wake up in the morning. You just really like to shout when you are excited. It's adorable, but kind of loud. Try to tone it down a bit. Work on a squeal or a giggle, perhaps.

You still don't nap that great during the day at daycare. We're lucky to get two hours of napping out of you. But, unlike your brother, bad napping doesn't seem to affect your nightsleep, because you are usually the first to fall asleep, usually within minutes of being put down. One day last weekend you did nap the full 3.5 hours, and you took forever to fall asleep. So maybe you are just a two-hour kind of napper.

On Sunday you were super ornery (probably because of that tooth coming in) so I took you and your brother out for a walk, despite the heat. We don't use the infant carriers for walks anymore. You can sit up in the stroller like a big girl. We slathered you with sunscreen and put your new hat on you and you were just so happy. Perhaps you love being outside as much as your brother does! However, you did NOT like it when I walked through a sprinkler. There was no avoiding it. I think it shocked you so you started to cry. I managed to convince you it felt good (it felt GREAT!) on such a hot day. I can't wait to bring you into the pool. I need to buy a bathing suit first...

This weekend is your baptism and I hope the water isn't an issue for you then. Of course, people will just think it's cute if you start to cry, so don't sweat it too much.

Love you, little girl,
Mama